Blinding Myself
by Miranda Panda-chan
Summary: Sakura's living her dream life as Sasuke's girlfriend, but her dreams are dashed, but still her act of ignorance leaves her with hope... [SasuSaku]read and review!


**Disclaimer: I own nothing- not Naruto, not Sasuke, not Kiba, not Kakashi, not Neji, and not Shikamaru. **

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A/N: This is just something to get me back to writing, I've been sorta busy lately, and have had time to write the next chapters to some of my other stories; I just haven't had the motivation or the wanting to. 'Course I haven't touched my computer in two weeks cuz I've become a gaming junkie- w00t! Anywho, on with the one-shot.****

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Blinding Myself

**by Mitsurufangirl009**

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I knew it, it was obvious. I made myself out to be stupid, oblivious, and ignorant, because that was what I wanted. If I made it apparent that I knew, my Utopia might've crashed around my head. It wasn't right, and all my other friends told me to confront him about, but I just couldn't bring myself to ruin what I had worked so hard for.

The only friend that never cheered me on to confront him about it was Ino. Ino was the source of the problem that had settled in my life. Ino was the entire reason I wanted to cry when ever I saw either of them. It wasn't fair that after all these years of painful training, and working upon ungodly hours to attain strength, he still didn't choose me, but my best friend. It wasn't the fact that he didn't choose me really, because in a way he did. He told me he loved me, and treated me with love, care, and respect. I still knew that I wasn't the only one in his heart, if I'd earned any residency at all.

I've never really known why he keeps this up. The faux act he keeps playing is crushing my very soul. I was finally happy, I had the boy of my dreams, it was a dream come true, and at that time I thought that nothing could take that happiness away from me. If only I'd known how wrong I was, I might not have held on to my hope so long and hard that my heart was melded to it.

It was first called to my attention when I came home to hear a message being played on the answering machine at the back of the house. It was Ino and the message was to be relayed to Sasuke-not I. But I was the one to hear it, every word sent of me into a spiral of painful reality. That indeed, I was just something that he owned, just so Naruto or any of the other relentless suitors couldn't have me. Jealousy was the only reason that I could think that would've made him keep me on such a tight leash. I was never allowed to spend time with Naruto anymore without him standing by me, nor Kakashi. So why is it that he was so afraid of me cheating on him, even though I'd professed my undying love for him numerous times, when he is the one that is cheating on me. I was shocked, in all truth. I had never dreamed of such a thing happening- he didn't seem like that type of person.

I'll never reveal that I know where he's going every Thursday night, even if he says it's to eat with the guys at the Ichiraku. Even I know the guys eat on Fridays. Though maybe that was why he never let me around the male population, so I wouldn't find out that his alibi was false. Maybe, and maybe not- I'll never understand what goes on in his head, I wish I knew how he justifies and rationalizes things to be right or wrong. Some part of me envies him for being able to do such a thing.

For now, I suppose, I will play my role as the ignorant girlfriend in this horror movie which serves in place of my fantasy realm. This cruel horror which I must call my life. I agree with the one who said, "Life sucks, and then you die." Obviously, they knew more than the majority of the population. For now, though I will keep blinding myself to the painful reality: Ino has won.

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A/N: This hits kinda close to home, I really love my boyfriend, but he keeps talking about his best friend that moved away, and how much he talks to her, he's even admitted once to liking her because she reminds him of me. I really wanted to ask if it wasn't that I remind him of her. She's posted on his profile on Gaia that she hearts him, and he's replied that he hearts her too. And although it could just be a friend-love, it still hurt just as bad. RxR people.**


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